Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads

40-ish....................49

Adventurous.............Slept with everyone

Athletic............................No tits

Average looking.........................Ugly

Beautiful.............................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure..................On medication

Feminist.....................................Fat

Free spirit..................................Junkie

Friendship first.........................Former slut

Fun...........................................Annoying

New-Age........................Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded.............................Desperate

Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

Professional................................Bitch

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large frame.............................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate......................Stalker


Women's English:


1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


Men's English:


1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit  = I'm gay